Utter Madness

2002-07-02T00:35:00.000-07:00

The First Sight

Previously in Utter Madness: "I stepped forwarded and ran right into the trench coat guy knocking him over. His brief case spilled open as he plummeted to the floor... I moved forward and my foot tapped something. I looked down. At the tips of my shoes layed a wallet... The man's driver's license was the first thing I saw. I was right! I knew it! Then reality set in..."

I walked through the door of my house expecting to see Mike (yeah, my brother gets the "normal" name) on the couch playing X-BOX or watching some stupid MTV reality shit. Instead, the house was empty. No one home. I went to my room to change. I change about three times a day or however often the mood hits me. I have so much clothes in my closet that I want to wear everything at least once before I die. Hopefully I won't die anytime soon. The day was hotter than usual and my open window and fan were not cutting it. I needed some place cool to chill until the cool night crept up on me. I decided to open my new CDs and listen to some good music. The phone rang. Dammit! Everytime I am about to pop in a CD or watch a television show the phone rings and it's always one of those rude telemarketers trying to sell you long distance or newspapers. I decided to not pick up the phone. My plan was to ignore the call. I was alone in the big house and was going to make the best of it. I layed out on my bed and turned the volume on my stereo up. I was just about to dose off when the buldge in my left pocket snapped me to attention. I sat up. Then I reached into the pocket and pulled out the leather wallet. "What am I going to do?" I questioned aloud. The phone rang again.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver hoping that it was not Verizon or TimeLife. "Babe, you need to answer your phone! I have been calling you for like ever and a year and shit!" It was Meesha. "Sorry, I was relaxing." "What if it was an emergency or some shit like that and like they needed you to donate me a kidney or something?" I rolled my eyes. "Well, I wouldn't be able to tell them where to get one." I giggled at my witty come back. "Whatever... jerk! So did you find a job?" I tried to think of a quick answer but she beat me to the punch. "Or did you go to Tower Records and spend your college allowance on stupid shit like magazines?" I was speechless. "How did you know?" She was quiet for like a whole minute which meant that this was going to be good. She took a deep breath. "Mo-mo told Lisa gurl that Em and Martel were at the Plaza when they saw your car zipping through the parking lot. So I figure that you was just there trying to see if anyone was hiring." I took a sigh of relief.

"But then I remembered that you didn't want a job in retail because it was too, and let me quote this perfectly, it was too 'service oriented and girly'." I didn't know what to say so I started to stutter. "Yeah, yeah... but... but..." "Let me finish girl, damn..." I hate it when she calls me "girl." I know she does it just to piss me off. "Then Debbie's dad, Mr. Encinas... I can't remember his first name, tells her that he saw her friend Meesha's boyfriend, you, parking his car over near Tower Records..." I took my opportunity to speak up. "But I didn't go inside..." She ignored my remark. "Why do they always think that you are my boyfriend? That is so gross! That would be like kissing my brother. If I had one. Or my dog. Nasty!" I knew what she meant. I had always thought of Meesha in a sexless kind of way and I am sure the feeling was mutual. She spoke again. "Then, my cousin Lario... remember him from the party? He's the one with the purple hair who always dresses like he shops at the Goodwill. A total freakazoid if you ask me..." I knew that guy had looked familiar! "Well, he told me that he saw you in line bying CDs and magazines over at Tower and that he waved but you didn't say 'hi' to him cause you were too busy checking out some old swank ol guy. So that basically confirms it right there!"

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Well?" She questioned. "Oh! That was your cousin Lario! I thought he looked familiar!" I was out of ideas and the cat was out of the bag. Meesha stayed quiet for another minute and then took a deep breath. "So why come you was the music store when you should have been out getting yourself a J-O-B? And why was you ignoring my cousin when he is all up in you rface trying to give you a shout out and shit? And why come you checking out old 'swank' guys? You into that shit and shit?" I was turning red by now. Who does she think she is, my mother? "Who do you think you are? My mother?" "No, but I am sure your momma would love to hear my little story. Put her on the phone." "She isn't here right now Meesh." I took a sigh of relief cause knowing Meesha, she would tell my mom everything! "It's okay, I'll call back later." "Meesh, just stop! You caught me! Okay! I'm a loser already!" She cackled loudly. "I got you so good! Why do you doubt me? You know I am going to find out about your mischiveous ways mijo!" "Yeah, yeah. Great! I'm, caught! I need to take a nap. I'll call you later." She was still cackling. "Yeah, alright. Well maybe later on tonight we can cruise on over to the old folks home and pick up some grandpa's..." She got a kick out of that one. "Later Meesh..." Click! I hung the phone up and layed back down on my bed. Talking to her exhausted me. I turned my head and my eyes came face to face with the wallet. I swallowed another, bigger lump in my throat.

I decided not to look through the wallet. I flipped it open and studied the man's license through it's clear plastic pouch. I recognized his address as being only a few block from me. I didn't know that the Mafia had moved into this part of town. I decided to go for a drive and clear my thoughts. Subconciously I knew that I was going to pass by his house just to check things out.

I hopped in my Avalon and made my way to his street. The ride seemed to last forever but in reality I had only traveled a few blocks. I felt the lump in my throat coming back as soon as I reached his street. I came to a complete stop at the corner of his street. I could turn back now. Curiosity got the best of me and kept going. His house was surprising like mine which is not a surprise since we live in suburbia. A black non-descript car was in the driveway. "A mob car." I said aloud. I crept by the property slowly not taking my eye off of the front door. I expected it to open any moment and to see five big guidos come out holding baseball bats. Then I heard it. I actually heard it before I felt it. It was a thud! More like a thud and a crunch! I pressed the brake and the car came to a screeching halt. A figure popped up in front of my car. It was a girl dressed all in pink. She was yelling something at me. I got out of my car and went to her. "Are you freaking crazy? Why don't you freaking watch where the hell you are going?" I tried to help her up but she shrugged me away. "I'm sorry..." I stuttered. She brushed her blonde hair away from her face and looked up at me. I was stunned. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was cute, supple, and had the best eyes and smile. Our eyes met in a symphony of attraction. She smiled. "It's okay. You were going like what? Two miles per hour? No harm done." I smiled back. Our eyes never left each other. "Are you sure? I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I didn't meam to ram you with my car." She patted my arm and flipped her hair. "No really, it's okay. Don't worry about it. Guys are always ramming things into me all the time." She looked down embarassed at what she just said. "I'm Eury. What's your name?" "Natalia. But everyone just calls me Nat." Our eyes met again and we gazed into each other's pupils as we made love emotionally. Then her attention focused to somewhere behind me.

I turned around. The door to the house had opened and the trench coat guy was now standing in the doorway. He looked pissed. I turned back toward Nat. She looked at the scary man standing only yards from us. "I hope he doesn't recognize me." I was secretly thinking. Then she spoke. "Hi daddy!"

The lump in the back of my throat doubled in size.

To Be Continued...

2002-06-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

The First Day

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. So why do I feel like it is the last day I have left to live? Have you ever awoke one morning and felt completely empty inside and devoid of all feelings of comfort and stability? This is that morning. This is my worst nightmare come true. And guess what? I'm taking you with me!

By the way, my name is Eury. Sorry for being so rude and not introducing myself in the first place. "Eury" is short for Eurydice -- that's my full name just in case you were wondering. Yes! Eurydice was a goddess in Greek mythology who lost her only love Orpheus when he failed to trust her. But I assure you, I am not Greek nor am I female. Not that I have anything against either. I am just a guy named Eury who has parents who know as much about Greek mythology as they do about Chinese Water Torture. I have had to go through twenty-four years of life defending my name while at the same time hating it. I would never change it, however, because it is one of those things that helps to define the complete oxymoron that is me. But I digress, why are we discussing my name when I have much bigger things to worry about? As I told you, my metamorphosis into adult hood could not come at a worse time. That's right. I am moving out on my own. Today is my last day here in my parents' house. By tonight I will be, officially, a bachelor! So why am I scared? To tell you the truth, I am scared shitless and I'll tell you why.

It all started when my best friend Meesha (her parents are weird too) persuaded me to finally get a job so that I could have some "bling bling" cause she said that sitting home on weekends surfing the net was not productive. So I went out one day, in a new suit and tie, and started the dreaded task of getting a job. I didn't want to work in fast food... or retail... or an office... or a wharehouse... or construction... Can you tell I am just a tad too picky? So I did what any picky, jobless young adult would do. I took my happy ass to Tower Records over at the Plaza and did some serious shopping on my "for school only" credit card. My parents never read the bill and I needed the new "System of a Down" CD -- so I figured "what the hell!"

So, I am at Tower Records and I am browsing through the Alternative Rock aisle looking for "System." I found "New Found Glory," "Jimmy Eat World," and the best of the "Violent Femmes" but no "System." I was bummed beyond belief. This was an emergency! Drastic times called for drastic measures. I would have to go across the street and shop at Best Buy! I didn't want to... I had to! I was on a mission. My holy grail was that "System" CD. I decided to go ahead and purchase the handful of CDs I had already found, you know, since I was already holding them. So I got in line. In front of me was this purple haired freak in what looked like an ensemble picked out at the local Goodwill Store. I mean this guy looked cool! Infront of him was some nerd in Bannana Republic garb. So as I am mentally making a note of the Bannana nerd's geeky attire, an older man in a black trench coat walks in. He was holding some really swank leather brief case which he carried in his gloved hands. You could tell he was so money and he knew it.

At this point, the nerd had finished paying and now the cool fool was up to bat. I waited patiently for my turn to pay all the while watching the old guy in the trench coat go over to a man sitting in the magazine section. They talked for minute or two and then the trench coat guy reaches into his breif case and hands the magazine guy a manila file folder. By now, I was intruiged as all hell. What was going down? Secret conversations... the passing of secret documents... trench coats? Could these guys be informants or FBI agents? Or even better... mafia? The man in the trench coat began to walk away from the magazine rack. He caught my eye with a quick glimpse so I looked down at the floor. Damn, I have big feet! Well, hehehehehehe, you know what they say about men with big feet... Just then, the cashier motioned me forward. I moved quick, but not quick enough. What happened next, I could swear happened all in slow motion. I stepped forwarded and ran right into the trench coat guy knocking him over. His brief case spilled open as he plummeted to the floor. I didn't know what to do. The man looked at me with disgust. The kind of look that tells you that you are soon going to be emersed into two slabs of concrete. I mean, this guy looked like a freaking goodfella! I apologized and helped him up. He got to his feet and crammed all the contents of his case back inside. Then he walked out the door and disappeared around the corner. He never even said a word to me.

I stood there in shock for what seemed like forever. I looked back over my shoulder towards where the magazine guy had been. He was gone. No surprise there. Afterall, I probably just ruined a big mafia exchange and all. Then the cashier motioned for me again. I moved forward and my foot tapped something. I looked down. At the tips of my shoes layed a wallet. A long, black, checkbook-style wallet. I bent down and picked it up. It was nice. Leather. The cashier called me again. I popped to attention and payed for my CDs and magazines. Yes I bought magazines too! I couldn't help it!

I exited Tower Records and looked around the parking lot for the man in the trench coat. He was gone. "What do I do?" I asked myself. I took the wallet out of my pocket and flipped it open. The man's driver's license was the first thing I saw. I was right! I knew it! Then reality set in. What did I just get myself into? "This is madness..." I thought. "Utter madness..."

To be continued...